Spiritual Friendship: God’s plan discussing the first steps in understanding the need for spiritual friendships in our lives.

Using Katie Warner’s book “A Parent Who Prays” we talk about the spiritual fruit of Kindness and how we find kindness in our spiritual friendships.

It is almost done! I can see the finish line! Hope and blessing is restored! I wish I was talking about the ending of the “shelter-in-place” order but I am not. I am talking about the work being almost finished in our beautiful church at St. Lucy. But in both cases we can draw analogies and hope that just as our church lighting project is coming to completion and the putting back in order the inside of our church is being done, we too one day very soon will begin to look forward and put in order once more our lives and return to the parish church to once more celebrate the Sacraments and join in the communal worship that we all feel a hunger for and desire to be part of in our praise of God. Before we do that though we need to continue to place our lives in hope and trust in God’s plan.
First, our church lighting project was to take between 7 and 8 weeks. It has taken almost 16 weeks. We all know construction comes with delays and changes that slow the work and this was true for our little project as well. These delays caused heartache, worry and sometimes great doubt, but listening to the voice of those who were on the journey with us, these fears were allayed by looking towards the greater, the beauty coming forth from the painfully slow progress. We too, as a people of faith, need to be attentive to the all the surrounding noise and discern the voice of God calling us to communion. To look forward to the beauty coming forth from this time of isolation does not remove the pain of not being able to receive Jesus in the Eucharist, or not having a normal schedule for the Sacrament of Reconciliation, or delaying Baptism or even a Marriage date. It certainly does not take away the pain of lost work, isolation and depression. And yet, there is hope. Each time I find my heart falling, the dark cloud beginning to surround me, fear overwhelming my hope and trust, I listen for the whisper. One whisper is to re-watch the video of our Holy Father, Pope Francis, in prayer from a few weeks ago. To hear the voice of Jesus flow through my veins as I see him in adoration, in reaching out and in the painful steps he takes in taking Jesus in his hands as he blesses me, blesses you and blesses the whole world. It is here and in other ways I see the tiny light of love and hope begin to defeat the darkness of temptation in despair.
Second, we must ask questions and act. We cannot simply sit back and wait. Our faith and hope is as a pilgrim people on the move, searching out and discovering hope. In the delays and problems, searching for solutions, not quick fixes or patching over the problem, but solutions to last into the future became a quest for blessings and peacefulness. Trust in the experts is important…but questioning in good faith and charity is also important. Our Bishops are under tremendous stress in seeking to be good shepherds. Pastors and priests are under tremendous stress in seeking how to serve their people in generosity and reaching out to those who are lost and abandoned. Parish leadership teams struggle to find solutions too difficult problems no one ever dreamed we would face. Saying all of this, this does not mean questions shouldn’t be asked or grassroots solutions cannot be brought forward. When we do this we are acting towards charity in the other trusting their good will towards our Holy Catholic Church.
Lastly, remember: God has got this! It may look like a disaster. The hoped for timeline may be destroyed. We may fall into utter desolation. Yet, we know: God has got this!
Please pray for our Holy Father Francis. Please pray for your Bishops, priests, religious and parish leadership teams. And be assured, they are praying for you. We are the Body of Christ…maybe sheltering-in-place…united in love.
See you in the Eucharist.
God Bless
Fr. Mark.

From “A Parent Who Prays” by Katie Warner
The gift of Knowledge and how to discover “God’s way” in our life by living our faith..
“How to Catholic Family” by Tommy and Karen Tighe
God Bless
Fr. Mark.

In Dr. Allen Hunt’s book “The 21 Undeniable Secrets of Marriage” he puts forth this claim: “The most important word in marriage is forgiveness. And along with forgiveness comes its spouse grace.” (p 199) While it is the many sides of love that draws us together, unites us, makes us fruitful, ultimately it is the gift of forgiveness which holds love together in any relationship but most especially the spousal relationship. I can imagine in most marital relationships in the very beginning the idea of being able to spend extended time with the wife or husband would have been something all couples would enjoy an feel blessed but as time wears on, being cooped up may take on a less alluring feeling.

For many married couples, families and even roommates this forced coming together may not be the long dreamed of second honeymoon as the nerves are frayed with children, conflict and worries that continue to pile up in a seemingly unending stream. And this is hard and there is no magic bullet to move from this time of suffering whether small or tragic…it is just a time where enduring seems like the only solution…but is this true?
Our Catholic faith tells us there is something more. In this Easter Season we experience this more in the realization of the gift and blessing of life offered from the cross for our salvation and hope. Pope Francis is speaking about the normal crises in life may have been prophetic in seeing into the “shelter-in-place” we are now experiencing when he writes, “Then there are those personal crises that affect the life of couples, often involving finances, problems in the workplace, emotional, social and spiritual difficulties. Unexpected situations present themselves, disrupting family life and requiring a process of forgiveness and reconciliation. In resolving sincerely to forgive the other, each has to ask quietly and humbly if he or she has not somehow created the conditions that led to the other’s mistakes.” (#236 Amoris Laetitia)
This great “unexpected situation” which are certainly “disrupting the family life” are the cause of much anxiety, fear and loss of hope. It is when we are able to choose to enter into mercy where these situations become filled with hope and holiness rather than sin and fear. Our Holy Father recognizes we all are part of the community and must take responsibility for both forgiveness and healing, in both the seeking and sharing in the mercy of our Heavenly Father’s generous forgiveness and compassion seen on the Good Friday Cross.
St. John Paul II saw this same reality in his experience of family and the desire for unity and oneness within the spousal relationship and family when he taught, “Family communion can only be preserved and perfected through a great spirit of sacrifice. It requires, in fact, a ready and generous openness of each and all to understanding, to forbearance, to pardon, to reconciliation…there arise the many and varied forms of division in family life. But, at the same time, every family is called by the God of peace to have the joyous and renewing experience of “reconciliation,” that is, communion reestablished, unity restored…towards the fullness of communion willed by God, responding in this way to the ardent desire of the Lord: “that they may be one.”” (#21 Familiaris Consortio)
In my ministry within the Worldwide Marriage Encounter movement (WWME) I see and experience the “communion reestablished, unity restored” in the intentional listening and sharing of feelings in the totality of familial and nuptial love. It is when we choose to open our hearts to the other we begin to hear the voice of God.
Forgiveness, reconciliation and mercy are hard works and yet when we place our lives in God’s hands they become possible. Once more, Pope Francis teaches us how when we choose the path of peace and reconciliation the road forward, while bumpy and filled with potholes, become are road of mercy where the unity of marriage and family strengthens us, “When crisis come, they are unafraid to get to the root of it, to renegotiate basic terms, to achieve a new equilibrium and to move forward together. With this kind of constant openness they are able to face any number of difficult situations.” (#238 Amoris Laetitia)
The most important word is the “they” of loving unity. The openness of hearing the voice of love in the family, in the relationship, in the blessing of family. The struggle will always be the temptation of isolation and separation in times of hurt and pain. I remember watching a mother gather her angry child into her arms. The little girls struggled to get away, cried and shouted to be let free and yet the mother held on in an act of love, reconciliation and mercy. This is our call, our necessary action: to hold onto each other in love. It is an act of God’s grace, “Why is forgiveness so important? Because your purpose is to help each other get to heaven. You are helping your mate grow in love, joy and peace. You want your spouse to abound in patience, kindness and generosity.” (p 200 Allen Hunt)
This is the gift of forgiveness.
God Bless
Fr. Mark.

Some thoughts from “A Parent Who Prays” by Katie Warner

“I know a person to whom or Lord wanted to show what a soul in mortal sin was like. That person says that in her opinion if this were understood even though a soul would have to undergo the greatest trials imaginable in order to flea the occasions. So the Lord gave her a strong desire that all might understand this. May he give you, daughters, the desired to beseech Him earnestly for those who are in the state, who have become total darkness, and whose works have become darkness also. For just as all the streams that flow from a crystal-clear fount are also clear, the works of a soul in grace, because they proceed from this fount of life in which the soul is planted like a tree, are most pleasing in the eyes of God and man. There will be no freshness, no fruit, if it were not for this fount sustaining the tree, preventing it from drying out, and causing it to produce good fruit. Thus is the case of her soul that through its own fault withdraws from this font and plants itself in a place where the water is black and foul-smelling, everything that flows from it is equally wretched and filthy.”(From”The Interior Castle” by St. Teresa of Avila)

The above quote from St. Teresa of Avila may be a little long but it reminds us of the necessity for knowing our heart and knowing the need for forgiveness. Good Friday is upon us and this has always been for me one of those great moments of silence in my life of faith. It is a day, both as a lay person and now as a priest, where the quiet voice of God is present in a very unique and special way. The Cross of Jesus Christ has been planted to become the tree of life. The shouts and screams of the devil are quieted by the gentle whisper of God’s mercy. The blows and buffeting of the devil are soothed by the soft caress and breath of God’s love. The heat and the fire of hell are pushed back through the cool water of God’s grace in Baptism. But, as St. Teresa reminds us above, we must recognize and know our need for these blessings of mercy, love and grace in our lives to fully place our trust in God’s embrace from the Cross.
The Sacrament of Reconciliation has been hard these past few weeks. The normal routine, the normal times, the normal everything as disappeared and yet, God’s desire for unity through forgiveness and mercy still flows from the side of Jesus on the Cross. A few days ago I spent almost an hour walking in our parking lot with a young person who hadn’t been to confession since their First Holy Communion. As their sins fell from their lips you could hear the despair and fear in their voice. We talked, cried, laughed and shared hope and encouragement as we lifted the tree that was planted in the black water of sin and planted it once more in the crystal clear fount of love. As I reminded them as I prayed absolution, the devil will tempt you, will seek to lure you into the same sins again, will try to trick you into falling…and if and when you do, run back to this fount of life in which is planted the Cross…from which mercy and forgiveness flow in this we are all united in Christ Jesus.
“Thanks to the Cross, we no longer wander in the desert, for we have found the right way; we are no longer outside the palace, for we have found the entrance; we no longer fear the flaming arrows of the devil, for we have seen where the fount of water is. Thanks to the Cross there is no longer widowhood, for we have a groom; we no longer fear wolves, for we have a Good Shepherd. Thanks to the Cross we no longer fear the tyrant, for we are by the side of the King.” (Saint John Chrysostom)
God bless you all and have a wonderful and holy Easter season.
See you in the Eucharist.
Fr. Mark

From our Valley Catholic online News…Diocese of San Jose

Choosing the Hope of Faith

I’m getting tired of talking to people who are surrounded by a square and are on a computer screen. I am getting tired of celebrating Mass by looking at a small camera and not my community. I am getting tired not being able to go have a burger. I am getting tired of not having live sporting events to distract me from all they other things that I am getting tired of not being able to do.
Okay, I’ve now complained and I am sure that in many ways you too are getting tired of a myriad of different things that would fill a book quickly. I also know deep down the measures being taken are important and life saving. I also know my little complaints dwindle and fade away quickly under the glare of the true suffering and pain, the fear and dread, the worry and doubt rippling through our community, city, state, country and the world at this time.

So, what are we to do in the light of our Catholic faith and how do we confront this with the mind of Jesus Christ? First, I believe, is friendship. Fr. Joseph in his homily last week talked about this: the reality of friendship in our lives. “No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you.” (Jn 15:15) Friendship helps to unmask the anxiety and fear for what they are and begins to open the eyes of our heart to the presence of God within our relationships of love. Friendship strengthens our willingness to reach out because it cannot be accomplished alone, it must be in unity with another in a positive action of grace and life-giving generosity. Friendship renews our spirit because the truth of being loved for who we are and not what we can do sends the fire of grace deep into our bones and moves us into active and thoughtful actions.
One of the biggest changes in my life these past few weeks is having dinner, almost every night, with Fr. Steve and Fr. Joseph. We have always shared at least one dinner a week and would often catch each other, on the run, for breakfast or other meals but we haven’t in almost 5 years had as many dinners together as we have shared the past few weeks. During these meals we have grown in brotherhood as priests and shared stories of life, discussed the latest news and other serious, mundane and humorous takes on life and ministry. It has been one of the blessings of this gift of enforced time. (trust me in this also, there are all the normal annoying things too)

This is one of the lessons we can all take from this: there are opportunities, even in the destructiveness of this pandemic, to find the friendship of Jesus Christ in the center of our relationships. “‘To live is to change’ the saying goes. Major events either positive or negative, call for adjustments that are ultimately enriching but momentarily exhausting. Friendships do not stay the same. We grow or decline in our relationships over time.” (p 44-45 “Friendship: The Key to Spiritual Growth” by Fr. John W. Crossin) This is what the first disciples discovered in the relationship with Jesus…the quote from St. John’s Gospel above places this change at the center of our call to follow Jesus. The calling towards friendship is always a greater growth in intimacy of knowing the other. To take time in prayer, meditation, contemplation, conversation and play with family, friends and Jesus helps us to know the friend who calls us into life.
I am praying for a greater friendship with our Lord in my life and the life of all.
God Bless
Fr. Mark