I have been thinking about marriage a lot lately in preparing several couples and seeing this preparation come to fruition in Holy Matrimony. I have also been preparing to present a Worldwide Marriage Encounter experience at the end of October. I truly love and am inspired by the Church’s teaching on marital love and the blessings flowing from this love. Ministering in the Worldwide Marriage Encounter community has shown me the deep and profound lived experience of so many wonderful men and women who share this bond through the joys and sorrows where the become signs of the great sacramental grace God shares with us. It has been a support to my priesthood helping me to be a better (I pray) priest and man.

I love the writings of Pope St. John Paul II and our current Holy Father Francis have shared with us on marriage. I am inspired by the words of the Second Vatican Council in their teachings on marriage especially in Gaudium et Spes; The Church in the Modern World. When I was recently searching for something on Marriage I was surprised to discover Dear Newlyweds: Pope Pius XVII Speaks to Married Couples. Pope Pius XII sat on the chair of Peter from 1939 to 1958 during some of the very darkest times in world history. I was fascinated to discover that just as St. John Paul II had weekly audiences as he taught was to become what is now called the “Theology of Body,” Pope Pius did something similar with marriage, calling together young married couples to talk and teach about the joy and grace God offers, through the Church, for their marriages.
I was reminded by Pope Pius Xii in one of the first brief sections of how the liturgy of the Mass and the Rite of Marriage are two of the most instructive teachings for what marriage is and how we are called to live life. He writes, “All this takes place with a solemnity at once grandiose and simple: the bride and groom are kneeling before the altar of the Lord; they are in the presence of men, witnesses as well as relatives and friends and in the presence of God who, invisibly surrounded by the angels and the Saints, validates and sanctions the obligations solemnly vowed.” (p. 8)

The grandeur of the Sacrament is such a wonder and joy. The simple act of a man and woman speaking the prayerful words of the vow, becoming a covenant, a sign and symbol of the love the Trinity in the world where we are called to be a witness to the breaking in of the Holy Spirit into the lives of this new untarnished Sacrament of love. Sometimes we can forget amiss the many details of life and the pondering of what comes next what we witness daily in the Sacraments we live and are in the world. We listen without hearing, we watch without seeing, we quickly walk by without participating in the great gift God lays at our feet. We know the truth of this when we are intentional in our actions in the blessing we receive and share.
And then as the newly married couple waits in anticipation of the reception of the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity or our Lord Jesus Christ in the Eucharistic feast, we pause for a moment…we break the pattern so that we can hear, see and participate in a blessing.
When I was able to celebrate and witness the marriage of a cousin several years ago, one of the attendees noted to me at the reception, after Mass, how often the liturgy mentions the openness to life in accepting children. She had listened and heard the good news of life that is promised by God in and through the grace of the Sacrament. Pope Pius XII teaches, “There is an important detail in the liturgy of the holy mass: after the Pater Noster, the priest, turning toward the bride and groom, invokes the divine blessing upon them in a prayer which touches the innermost fiber of their hearts and overflows with moving wishes for the future.” (p 8)
What beautiful and moving prayers are offered to the newly married couple when the community prays over the husband and wife pouring out the love of God in the powerful words of blessing. We hear these words prayed in part of the nuptial blessing:
“Look now with favor upon these your servants,joined together in Marriage,who ask to be strengthened by your blessing.Send down on them the grace of the Holy Spiritand pour your love into their hearts,that they may remain faithful in the Marriage covenant.”
God is so very good in offering us this wonderful gift of participating in His creation and witnessing the love flowing from the most Sacred Heart of His Son into the world through the man and woman joined in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony.
God Bless
Fr. Mark
If you wish to read the several options for the Nuptial Blessings you can check them out on the website listed below.
https://www.catholicchurchesofncc.com/staff/list

(side note… I got half way through the article and stopped…saved the article under the title “baseball sucks” I guess I am not over it yet!)
I can’t wait for Spring! The sadness of the Dodgers crashing out of the playoffs (congratulations Padres fans) is still heavy on my heart but there is next year.

One of the things you learn is things always don’t go the way you think they will. As a baseball fan for over fifty years you learn the ups and downs but most of all you learn the failures happen much more frequently than the successes. This year being a prime example. I can remember in 2001 when the Seattle Mariners won 116 games and failed to make the World Series and how difficult that was to my friends and family who were certain their team was the very best and would surely walk through the playoffs and receive the long cherished ring of a champion. And I remember the 1988 World Champion Dodgers team having won 94 games beat a New York Mets team that had won 100 games and had dominated the Dodgers in the season series and then went on to beat the Oakland Athletic Bash Brothers 104 win team that no one expected them to even touch with a ten foot pole.
Baseball is hard. With a couple weeks left in the regular season on twitter one of the non-official Dodgers sites tweeted out “This game is easy” during one of those moments when a winning streak was in progress and all parts of the game, hitting, pitching and defense were a clicking. I replied to the effect, “This can quickly turn into being bounced out the playoffs in the first round. Don’t anger the baseball gods.” Fifty years of disappointments with five successes (Championships) in my lifetime but only three, 1981, 1988 and 2020 that I can remember a test to this truth .
I remember a former major leaguer in an interview (I can’t remember who at this writing) who said the hardest game you play in the next one. Baseball is unrelenting and you are never know when the next hit or run will come and the attention and focus needed must come day in and day out. Baseball is hard.
I am now at the God part of the talk…thank you for indulging me…see the note above.

Faith is hard. The practice of our faith is hard. Living our faith is hard. I have been a Catholic for 61 years. I have had some great days in the minor leagues of faith learning in the bosom of my family. Watching some masters at work teaching the faith and absorbing the culture of Catholicism in a great and loving parish and community.
And upon reaching the major league of faith…that is leaving home…I went through some terrible slumps where I hung on the vapors of faith leaking out of the remnants of what was given and finally embracing the hard work that faith demands in the last years of college and truly beginning to fall in love with God.
But the funny thing is…I still go through slumps. Some easily identifiable and where the “fix” can be worked on with focus and determination. Others are mysterious and I can seem to be flaying at the plate swinging through each prayer and spiritual exercise not making contact and wondering if I will ever pray again until the day when through perseverance and trust the feeling of solid contact comes naturally and I simply thank God for the gift of blessing. And just as natural is the team, the parish, my brother priests who surround me where those magic moments when we are all pulling in the same direction makes the “game’ of faith seem so easy but always knowing the reality of how it can so easily slip away and faith becomes so very hard again.
And of course…I can feel like the old manager, who at the one hand knows the game of faith so very well, how it is deeply set in his bones, who holds great respect for the depth and beauty of the game of faith, the life of faith, the love of faith who seeks to pass on just one tiny bit to see it grow in another who loves the game.
Baseball is hard…Faith is hard…we will fail, we will go through slumps but God is always with us to pick us up with the clutch hit…
God Bless
Fr. Mark.

Wisdom of Fulton Sheen–short video reflections

In every friendship hearts grow and entwine themselves together, so that the two hearts seem to make only one heart with only a common thought. That is why separation is so painful; it is not so much two hearts separating, but one being torn asunder.

10/30….There is a tendency among many shallow thinkers of our day to teach that every human act is a reflex, over which we do not exercise human control. They would rate a generous deed as no more praiseworthy than a wink, a crime as no more voluntary than a sneeze…Such a philosophy undercuts all human dignity….All of us have the power of choice in action at every moment of our lives.

10/29…There are angels near you to guide you and protect you, if you would but invoke them. It is not later than we think, it is a bigger world than we think.

Skepticism is never certain of itself, being less a firm intellectual position than a pose to justify bad behavior.

Learning comes from books; penetration of a mystery from suffering.

If, in his pride, he considers God as a challenge, he will deny Him; and if God becomes man and therefore makes Himself vulnerable, he will crucify Him.

Life is like a cash register, in that every account, every thought, every deed, like every sale is registered and recorded.

Politeness is a way of showing externally the internal regard we have for others. Good manners are the shadows cast by virtues.

Our intellects do not make the truth; they attain it they discover it.

Character is to some extent judged by what a man does with his falls. A pig falls into the mud and stays there; a sheep falls in and climbs out.

Finite intelligence needs many words in order to express ideas; but God speaks once and for all within Himself–one single Word which reaches the abyss of all things that are known and can be known. In that Word of God are hidden all the treasures of wisdom, all the secrets of sciences, all the designs of the arts, all the knowledge of mankind. But this knowledge, compared to the Word, is only the feeblest broken syllable.

Psalm 62:11 “For God has said only one thing: only two do I know: that to God alone belongs power and to you, Lord, love”

Naaman went down and plunged into the Jordan seven times
at the word of Elisha, the man of God.
His flesh became again like the flesh of a little child,
and he was clean of his leprosy.

Naaman returned with his whole retinue to the man of God.
On his arrival he stood before Elisha and said,
“Now I know that there is no God in all the earth, except in Israel.
Please accept a gift from your servant.”

Elisha replied, “As the LORD lives whom I serve, I will not take it;”
and despite Naaman’s urging, he still refused.
Naaman said: “If you will not accept,
please let me, your servant, have two mule-loads of earth,
for I will no longer offer holocaust or sacrifice
to any other god except to the LORD.” (2 Kgs 5:14-17)

An unfinished homily….there are times when you get half a homily and then the Holy Spirit leads you in a different direction. Last Sunday we heard in our first reading this small part of the story of the prophet Elisha and the Assyrian general Naaman. The Church gives us the end of the story but it is important to know the whole story to get the sense of fear and danger the King of Israel must have felt as Naaman came to visit. Naaman was not a simple visitor or even and peaceful envoy, he was a general of an army that had devastated surrounding nations and conquered many peoples and nations. He is only coming as a last resort and the urging of his underlings and slaves.
Why did God grant him the gift of healing? Just like we often see in the Gospels Jesus healings are often surprising and don’t always fit the mold. Elisha’s command in strange, to plunge seven times in the Jordan and Naaman isn’t quite sure and once more needs to be convinced to do this.

My homily thoughts were going to focus on “please accept a gift from your servant.” Now the gift wasn’t a gift card for dinner, it was silver, fine linen and other precious gifts. In other words it was a lot of stuff. My point in Elisha’s refusal was…You can’t buy or pay off God! Sometimes we think that we can purchase a favor from God with a promise of some type of payment or after we receive a blessing from God to buy our way out of continued conversion.
Elisha reminds the newly believing Naaman; God doesn’t want something, He wants some one…He wants you. Just as God offers himself to us in the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, we are called to offer ourselves fully to Him.
Give thanks to God for the many blessings and share them in the sacrificial service of our brothers and sisters.
Just half a homily.
God Bless
Fr. Mark.

Short videos on the Wisdom of Bishop Fulton Sheen

If then Death was the supreme moment for which Christ lived, it was therefore the one thing He wished to have remembered. He did not ask that men should write down His Words into a Scripture, He did not ask that his kindness to the poor should be recorded in history; but He did ask that men remember His Death. And in order that it’s memory might not be any hap-hazard narrative on the part of men, He Himself instituted the precise way it should be recalled. The memorial was instituted the night before He died, at what has since been called “The Last Supper.” He was offering Himself as a Victim to be immolated, and that men might never forget that “greater love than this no man hath, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” He gave the divine command to the Church: “Do this for a commemoration of me.”

Everyone else who was ever born into the world came into it to live; our Lord came into it to die.

Make this experiment whether you believe in God or not. At your first opportunity, stop in a Catholic Church for a visit. You need not believe, as we Catholics do, that Our Lord is really and truly present in the tabernacle. But just sit there for an hour, and within that hour you will experience a surpassing peace the like of which you never before enjoyed in your life. You will ask yourself as a sensationalist once asked me when we made an all-night vigil of adoration in the Basilica of Sacre Coeur in Paris; “What is ti that is in that church?” Without voice or argument or thundering demands, you will have an awareness of something before which your spirit trembles–a sense of the Divine.

From my experience it is always well never to pay attention to what people say, but rather why they say it.

Sensationalists miss divinity for just that reason: the true religion is always unspectacular. The foolish virgins go to buy oil for their lamps, and when the come back, they find the Bridegroom already returned. And the door closed. It was so undramatic. A beautiful maiden knocks at the door of an inn, and an innkeeper tells her there is no room. Into a stable she enters, and there a child is born. It was God’s entrance into the world. But it was so undramatic.

It meant nothing to teach men to be good unless He also gave them the power to be good.

Like train announcers, they know all the stations, but never travel. Head knowledge is worthless, unless accompanied by submission of the will and right action.

One can well believe that a crown of thorns, and that steel nails were less terrible to the flesh of our Savior than our modern indifference which neither scorns nor prays to the heart of Christ.

In the Christian order, it is not the important who are essential, nor those who do great things who are really great. A king is no nobler in the sight of God than a peasant. The head of government with millions of troops at his command is no more precious in the sight of God than a paralyzed child. The former has greater opportunities for evil, but like the widow in the Temple, if the child fulfills his task of resignation to the will of God more than the dictator fulfills his task of procuring social justice for the glory of God, then the child is greater. By our presence in the world, we are called to create a society capable of recognizing the dignity of every person and sharing the gift that each person is to the other.

We suffer from hunger of the spirit while much of the world is suffering from hunger of the body.

During the height of the pandemic, the priests of the diocese were given the opportunity and the blessing to talk with each other (over zoom) and talk as individuals and as a group to several counselors, therapists and phycologists about how we were doing. As you would expect, in the group sessions, we were all at and in different stages of coping and dealing with the new reality of the moment.

At one point in the conversation I mentioned about my coping mechanism and the need to continue to work on my self-care. The counselor on the zoom call reminded me and the other priests that self-care is not self-medication and anesthetizing ourselves to the reality surrounding us. I was reminded of this when I picked up a book I had been reading at the time “Radical Acts of Love” by Susan Skog. The counselor reminded me on that zoom call and all the other priests listening that “self-care” is more than just watching out for your self…it is about connecting and caring for each other. It is about making sure we are giving and receiving the necessary love that God commands of us in the great Commandment, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’  All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (MT 22:37-40)
“What are you giving out into the world — rocks or gold? What do you hope your heart gives to others? If you want to have more compassion for others, we have to set the intention for that. And meditation and contemplation, quiet stillness, and prayer are one way we do that.” (p. 79 from “Radical Acts of Love” by Susan Skog) We cannot give out what we do not possess. It is entering into a time of quiet and hearing the call of God to be united with Him and with others. While the pandemic forced many of us into isolation we cannot be forced into contemplation of God and into a deeper and fuller prayer. The temptation is to fill life with noise. It can be the quiet noise of television or video games or the louder and more hurtful noise of addiction and abuse of our bodies. If we simply fall into our own little world and fail to be outward looking at the same time as we look inward to the Divine we soon enter destructive and non-productive moments that drag into greater and greater time that is gone.

One of the things I began to notice more acutely was my surroundings during the pandemic. My confession, I am not a good housekeeper. I don’t clean up well and my office and living rooms can become cluttered very quickly as I allow my eyes to be consumed by the busyness that I can immerse and surround myself in. As I read the quote below…I took notice.
“Add more beauty around you. Or bouquet of russet corn flowers on a weeping gray autumn day can immediately quicken and lift your heart. Weave in whatever encourages you to be loving and heart-centered.” (P. 81) To add beauty I had first to remove clutter and the mess around me. I am still far from perfect, as anyone who visits my office can tell, but I am better. Taking time to contemplate the beauty of a flower, the taste of a good meal, the photo shared and just the glory with which God surrounds us heals the heart and breathes new life into the soul. It allowed me to focus on who and what surrounded me and drew the love of life into the relationships of hope that nourish the soul.
My rooms are filled with the reminders of my faith. My prayer altar is adorned with icons, statues and cards of remembrance. I have statues and pictures, crucifixes and rosaries placed throughout me living space…but do I notice them or do they just become another spot on the wall or something to be dusted on a shelf? “What can you mount in your heart—in your home and office — to remind you of your desire to be of good heart? What would the plaque or poster say? Post it where you will see it daily, where it will get splattered with toothpaste, coffee, and tomato sauce. It will signal the angels, “This! This! This is my true intention to live from my heart.”(p. 81) I placed a family photo on my desk where I gaze upon the love that is shared and the blessing of our God who has, even in the struggles and sadness, plants seeds of joy and hope in my life and in each of our lives. To mount in my heart the laughter and tears of my deepest joy and love.

The time of the pandemic cost each family and each person so much it is hard to quantify. The gashes and brokenness are easy to see and often we spend most of our time and energy seeking the healing and repairing of these wounds but over the past months what I have become more attuned to are the small paper cuts, the hundreds of tiny nicks that slipped by under the radar as we dealt with the “big things” that needed attending.
“There is a precious about life we’ve lost and we must recapture. Our sight’s been dimmed, blurred, blinded. Somewhere along the way, for so many complex reasons, we’ve increasingly stopped seeing one another as human beings, as exquisite extensions of ourselves, as heart-of-my-heart needing decency, love, and care. We don’t seem to fully see one another as human anymore, even when we need it most.” (P. 85) It’s hard to see the other as blessed and holy when we are struggling to see ourselves in the same way. Our invitation to love, to care for and to bless is grounded in our knowledge that we are loved, cared for and blessed in a community of life. It when we choose to put God into the center of our community, we will begin to allow our vision to be undimmed and permit the healing light of Jesus Christ to fill our souls and lift our heart. This is the true peace Jesus offers me and you and all of us. “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John 14:27)
God Bless,
Fr. Mark

The Wisdom of Fulton Sheen…short video reflections

As education, when it loses it’s philosophy of life, breaks up into departments without any integration or unity except the accidental one of proximity and time, and as a body, when it loses its soul, breaks up into its chemical components, so a family when it loses the unifying bond of love, breaks up in the divorce court.

One would not generally put garbage into the stomach, but too often one will put garbage into the mind.

Animals never have recourse to law courts, because they have no will to love; but man, having reason, feels the need to justifying his irrational behavior when he does wrong.

Politics has become so all-possessive of life, that by impertinence it thinks the only philosophy a person can hold is the right or the left. This question puts out all the lights of religion so they can call all the cats gray. It assumes that man lives on a purely horizontal plain, and can move only to the right or the left. Had we eyes less material, we would see that there are two other directions where a man with a sol may look: the vertical directions of “up” or “down.”

The Old Testament begins with the Genesis of heaven and earth through God making all things. The New Testament had another kind of Genesis, in the sense that it describes the making of all things new.

What the new morality resolves itself into is this: You are wrong if you do a thing you do not feel like doing; and you are right if you do a thing you feel like doing. Such a morality is based not only on “fastidiousness,” but on “facetiousness.” The standard of morality then becomes the individual feeling of what is beautiful, instead of the rational estimate of what is right.

Purity does not begin in the body but in the will. From there it flows outward, cleansing thought, imagination, and finally, the body. Bodily purity is a repercussion or echo of the will. Life is impure only when the will is impure.

Two principles inspire much of the personal and social dealings of many a citizen in our land: “What can I get out of it?” and “Can I get away with it?” Evil is confused with good, and good is confused with evil. Revolting books against virtue are termed “courageous”; and those against God are called “progressive and epoch-making.” It has always been the characteristic of a generation in decay to paint the gates of Hell with the gold of Paradise. In a word, much of the so-called wisdom of our day is made up of that which once nailed our blessed Lord to the Cross.

The Church knows too that to marry the present age and its spirit is to become a widow in the next.