“Listen then, dear husbands and wives, to your own heart. You will hear it sing the generous and selfless hymn, which yearns for the total gift of self. This imperious desire for mutual sacrifice, will be satisfied in you only if the gift to each other, sanctioned by sacred vows, is to be complete, unreserved, irrevocable, like the gift of yourselves which you must make to God.” (29, from “Dear Newlyweds” Pope Pius XII)

Sacramental love is the best of love because it has its beginning and end in God. Do you believe this? This is what Pope Pius is sharing with us today. There is a love that comes before love. It is a creative and generously awesome love that is what brings all things into being. We are reminded in faith and hope, we prepare ourselves for the love of another by loving God, who loves us first. It is how we prepare before that allows to love after and forever.
When do we begin to prepare for marriage? (the priesthood? the consecrated life?) In some ways as we are formed within the womb of our mother and as we take our first breath and form our first words and choose our first choice. The example of faith, hope and charity; the love God desires for us in the lives of those around us in the counter cultural sign of the sacred sacramental bond of love in Holy Matrimony. At least this is God’s plan. As we hear in Matthew 19:4-6, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?”
As we know Jesus is answering the question about sin and divorce and how this interrupts God’s plan. Interrupts but not stop, because in faith and hope we continue to strive for love in living the example of God’s charity extending beyond the pain of brokenness and into a new a glorious future.

“Charity is one; the bond interwoven between you in Christian marriage has something of the divine in its nature, like religion itself, and thus something of the eternal in its effects. Be faithful to it.” (30, from “Dear Newlyweds” Pope Pius XII)

Check out a Worldwide Marriage Encounter Weekend near you to hear more about God’s plan for your marriage. http://www.wwme.org

God Bless

Fr. Mark

“To found a family is not only to live for one’s self, to develop meaningfully within one’s self physical strength, spiritual faculties, supernatural qualities of the soul; it is to extend life, that is to say, it is to wish, as it were to return to life and live again, despite time and death, in one generation, after another, thrilled at the measureless vista unfolding through uncounted successions of ages.” (28–29 from “Dear Newlyweds” Pope Pius XII)

I had a conversation recently with a group of high school age girls and we began to talk about the future. When the topic came up about marriage, all of them said that they thought they would get married, but at the age of 30 or so. When we talked about children several of them (the majority) said they didn’t want children. When I asked, Why? One young lady spoke up and said, “Because, I want to live my life!” I wasn’t to shocked by this thought by these young ladies, but when I challenged them to why you can’t live your life and still be a wife and a mother. They hemmed and hawed but really didn’t have a reason…it was just a feeling.

In the quote at the beginning of this reflection from Pope Pius XII he notes the need for hope in our lives and especially in our relationships of love and how vital it is in our relationships as husband and wife. Hope is necessary because it sees a future of possibilities that go beyond the dour and apocalyptic fantasies that are so often peddled as the only future possible.

Christian hope companioned with faith sees a future which goes beyond our earthly existence and sees into a kingdom of God’s goodness and love. It is not that we ignore or pretend suffering and difficulties do not exist, rather we see into them the opportunity of greater connections in serving and caring for a beloved where the future shines forth in the children of the world. This hope understands life in the reality of generosity and joy in communion with another and with the generation to come.

So, what can we do…1. Speak about marriage. The good, the bad, the joyous and the struggles as a pathway to joy (statistics bare this out) 2. Don’t discourage marriage. Too many times I hear parents tell their children to wait until they are “ready”, “have their life in order” or something else like that. 3.. Encourage your children to get married.
And just to finish up the conversation above. The young men I speak to often have the same attitudes and responses. But there is hope…and His name is Jesus.

God Bless
Fr. Mark

Check out a Worldwide Marriage Encounter Weekend near you to hear more about God’s plan for your marriage. www.wwme.org

The following posts will come from Pope Pius’ talk “Three Cornerstones of Future Happiness” from April 3 1940. Many people may take these quotes from long ago and no longer relevant, we know of the timelessness of the human relationship of husband and wife and how the message of Jesus Christ is constant and true for all eternity.

“Therefore, dear newlyweds, as the springtime of life opens for you, enter upon it with deep faith in God, and with firm confidence in his power and goodness.” (27 from “Dear Newlyweds” Pope Pius XII)

What do we have faith in as we enter into a relationship of joy. Whether a man and woman entering into the sacramental bond or a man into the priesthood and woman into the consecrated life there is a call to a greater confidence in the greater and fuller experience of love.
Pope Pius XII reminds us of how we are called to have faith in the future and in the plan God has for us, His children. What is the spiring time of life? certainly newly married couples experience a spring time, a time where the new growth of love, the possibilities of great things seem to flourish where the promise of life finds seeds in the little acts of love. And this is important, but we also recognize the number of times we enter into a spring time in our lives and in our relationships with each other and with God. I can often find new springtimes after a spiritual retreat or when something shakes up my routine and I am able to see life land love with new eyes.
The blessings is great and the problem can be we don’t celebrate or acknowledge it when it happens. And we are not talking about large and grandiose celebrations like a wedding reception, although it could be, rather we are first and foremost called to take time with God and others in honoring the gift a springtime in our lives.

Faith in our relationship with God and others in relationship is knowing a new springtime is around the corner where the coldness of winter turns into the bright sunshine of life. It is seeking the beauty of live.
“Revived in your trust in God; revitalize the faith in your vows, faith in sacramental grace, faith in the sweet appeasement of sincere and ready reconciliation, which, in its own way, is a kind of springtime too, since after the cold, and the storm it ushers, in the return of calm and understanding and peace.” (28, from “Dear Newlyweds” Pope Pius XII)

God Bless
Mark

Check out a Worldwide Marriage Encounter Weekend near you to hear more about God’s plan for your marriage. www.wwme.org

When my younger brother Mitch died several years ago, I wrote a short reflection entitled, “My Brother Has Died” and today with the death of my sister Mary Cay, I will write once more, but this time “My Sister Has Died.”
I am older, a little wiser (I hope) and a bit more understanding of those (including myself) who must stand in the turbulent waters of mourning, suffering and grief. The shock of the news, the sadness and tears that followed, the prayers and blessings of so many people has been a great comfort to my family (and me) during these past few days.

Just as at Mitch’s death, Mary Cay’s death has brought up many of the same questions, doubts and fears. Was I a good brother with her? Did I reach out to her as often as I should have? Did I tell her when I last spoke with her that I loved her? As I tell others in grief; “we do the best we can in the moment” I am still left with a questioning heart.
Her death certificate will read that she was born to eternal life on the same day she was born to this world, 31 December 1963-2023. She would not have seen the stream of text messages wishing her a happy birthday from her family. She would not have responded to calls of congratulations. It is a strange thing.

Mary’s life was complicated and filled with contradictions of suffering and joy that made it difficult at times to love her and help her in the way each of her family and friends wanted to, (me included). Which leads me back to those complicated questions of relationship; caring and loving a sister.
We all can see and understand the missed moments that will be first and foremost in our minds, but there are the more numerous forgotten moments where the opportunity to love was dropped, especially in actions where we believe we will have another chance and more time. ““But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.” Mt 24:36
Jessica Powers in her beautiful poem “The Will of God” shares this opening line, “Listen, and tell your grief: But God is singing!” What is God singing? My hope and trust is He is singing the song I need to hear, whatever that is because in my hurt I often wish to wallow and dwell in these depths, but God desires more where we see the grandiose plan that I pray my little sister Mary Cay is now immersed in where there will be no more pain or sorrow. This is our faith…this is the song God wishes me to hear.
Rest in peace Mary.
God bless and love your brother,
Mark.

Continued Reflections during the Christmas season until January 8, 2024