“When you make your spouse’s sanctity your primary concern and view your mission through that lens, life has a way of shaking out into a right order on its own.” (p 22 “Getting More Out of Marriage” by Mark and Melanie Hart)
While the above quote is talking directly about the reality of sacramental marriage the truth of the quote can and does flow into the myriad of relationships and the intention God has for all of us in life. We are reminded that we are made for holiness (to become a saint) and each person we know, love or maybe even not like too much, is also made for holiness and the goal, according to Jesus, is to help one another become the reality of who god created us to be. In other words, we are called to focus on the sanctity of the other and help them to live a holy and saintly life.
As a Catholic priest my spouse is the Church. My main concern must be the sanctity of my bride the Church. When I allow myself to be distracted from this search for sanctity then I begin to expect less of my bride and in turn expect less of myself. And this is the true failing of lowering the hope of holiness into the mundane of just getting along in life.
Luckily there is a remedy to this and it is called grace. And more specifically sacramental grace. The Catholic Dictionary reminds us in the gift of sacramental grace, the “actual grace is given by all the sacraments, either actually at the time of reception or also by title as a person needs divine help.” In other words, God pours grace upon each of us in both the receiving of the Sacrament and then by living within the Sacrament received.
Can we deny the sacramental grace? Yes, it is called sin but then there is another Sacrament we receive which helps us open the door to the grace given, it’s called Reconciliation. To get back to the quote above, when we fall of the grace wagon God in his mercy and love invites to once more get up and get back on the road of holiness. If we believe God is this merciful, this loving and this generous then we, too, are obligated to do the same to our spouse and all people. This is the gift of the Great Commandment, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” (Mt 22:37-39)
Then we get to the second part of the quotes, the “shaking out into a right order.” This doesn’t mean everything will become perfect and without problems. What it does mean is we begin to live towards hope knowing God’s plan is effective and full of life. This is the gift of the life of grace, knowing there is more. An abundance of more which is readily poured upon us in love. A graciousness of gratitude flowing through our lives even in the troubles and sufferings that seemingly inundate all part of our world today. When we search for love, we discover love. When we discover love, we enter the arms of our beloved because sanctity and love are never apart.
And a quick Valentine’s Day note…God loves you…share this love abundantly in seeking the sanctity of your beloved.
God Bless
Fr. Mark