“At the risk of oversimplifying, we might say that we live in a culture which pressures young people not to start a family, because they lack possibilities for the future. Yet this same culture presents others with so many options that they too are dissuaded from starting a family”. In some countries, many young persons “postpone a wedding for economic reasons, work or study. Some do so for other reasons, such as the influence of ideologies which devalue marriage and family, the desire to avoid the failures of other couples, the fear of something they consider too important and sacred, the social opportunities and economic benefits associated with simply living together, a purely emotional and romantic conception of love, the fear of losing their freedom and independence, and the rejection of something conceived as purely institutional and bureaucratic”. We need to find the right language, arguments and forms of witness that can help us reach the hearts of young people, appealing to their capacity for generosity, commitment, love and even heroism, and in this way inviting them to take up the challenge of marriage with enthusiasm and courage. (#40)
The above quote comes from the Apostolic Exhortation Amoris Laetitia. Our Holy Father, Pope Francis, drawing on the tradition of the Church and the work of the Synod on the Family has shared with us a deep and powerful message about God’s plan for marriage and the wonderful teachings of love between man and woman and the blessing of new life.
As a priest working within Worldwide Marriage Encounter (WWME) many of the themes, especially when he is speaking of the difficulty and struggles that occur in married life, are not new and much of what Pope Francis is asking of us, the faithful of the Church, is not groundbreaking. What is important in this Exhortation is the depth and breadth of the teaching in one place at one time about the sacramental life of husband and wife. The recognition of the deep struggle, some would call it a crisis, concerning marriage in our current time and how we are invited to witness to marriage has in recent years received much more attention as we seek to understand how to nurture, support and form young men and women into virtuous husbands and wives.
I think one of the themes pointed out in the above quote is the overborn cautionary fear many people, young and old, have concerning the commitment of marriage. It is something that I often hear from parents warning their children not to get married “to early” and from young couples, often living together, who repeat the well worn phrase, they are waiting until they are “settled” or are “in the right place in their career” before they get married. This fear and caution stems from the reality that many married couples struggle and break-up in divorce. I have sat and counseled many men and women, many couples seeking to find hope and blessing in the midst of their suffering and pain.
The only antidote to this fear is the hope and witness of happy and holy married couples seeking to serve God and each other in the truth of holy love. It is pointing out the fears are real but hearing the voice of the Lord Jesus calling out to us to not be afraid but to jump in, prepared to swim against the tide of fear and sin towards the joy of sacramental love joined to the eternal love of heaven.
It is the blessings echoed in the words of the Bishops of the United States, “Real marital unity also relies on mercy, a quality we learn from Jesus and see throughout God’s covenant. In the Liturgy we pray “Lord have Mercy.” Jesus gives us his mercy so we can be merciful.” (#63 Love Is Our Mission) Marriage is the home of mercy and love where the fruitfulness of life flows from God’s grace to the unity of love given and shared.
God bless
Fr. Mark
ps..a article that is a clear and concise concerning Amoris Laetitia