“First, prayer; then, atonement; in the third place, very much ‘in the third place’, action.” (St. Josemaría Escrivá)
The great tragedy of a school shooting has once more entered our lives. This time it feels a little closer to home as it took place at a Catholic School and almost unbelievably as the students, faculty and community had gathered for the celebration of the Mass.
As brothers and sisters in Christ we are called to pray for the families and community that has suffered so great a loss that is unimaginable to so many of us. But we do pray to God and ask the bigger questions.
I emphasize “prayer” because so many times after any tragedy, but especially one of senseless violence, we are told prayer is not enough. And that is true. But as I have written before, it must be where we begin.
I was actually going to write about prayer in a different context before this event because of a conversation I had with several young people about prayer. I was going to write about how our prayer often feels empty and as one of the students commented during the conversation, “I think I’m praying wrong.” So while much of the context may be changing in the post, the “praying wrong” or the how we look at prayer will fill both buckets.

When I asked the teen why they thought they were praying wrong and asked them to describe their prayers, they shared a very anodyne description of prayer. In our continued discussion their anger and hurt became apparent and finally “I’m so angry with God!” blurted out of their mouth.
As we continued to talk and pray together, we talked about how we share our feeling with family, friends, teachers and others…so why don’t we share our ugly feelings, like anger, with God. I reminded them that throughout Sacred Scripture many people get angry with God. Just look at Moses in the exodus or the Prophet Jeremiah or the story of Job. You can hear the frustration and anger in St. Paul’s letters. And most importantly, we look to our Lord to see his life of prayer informed by his human emotions. It is okay to share even our difficult emotions with God…but then as we heal in the wounds of Jesus, we must listen and act, to live out our faith in hope and love.
When I read about the shooting, there was great sadness in my heart. When I began to understand and see how it had occurred there was frustration and anger. When I talked about it with coworkers and others at the parish there was confusion, hurt and sorrow. The same hard emotions that I had talked about just a few days earlier with this group of teens I was now called to share with God in prayer.
“Prayer is not asking. Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God, at this disposition, and listening to his voice in the depths of our hearts.” (St. Mother Theresa)
I had asked them just a few days earlier this questions, “In caring for the poorest of the poor, do you think Mother Theresa of Calcutta never turned to God in hurt and anger? Do you think she never look to God and screamed in prayer “Why?” Like all saints, and as God asks of us, she gave her whole life, she gave everything to God, including her doubts, fears and anger. She gave her life not to recieve rewards and “fixes” from God, she gave her life to God to love those those who are hurt, sick, and those who would die in her arms. She chose this life of prayer because she knew how God shares his whole self, in Jesus Christ, we are invited to do the same.

If we don’t have this understanding and do not practice it, then it becomes understandable when people scream at us and demand that “prayer is not enough.” We know that prayer is the beginning. A life of prayer helps us to move forward to seek a more just and peaceful world in and through Jesus Christ. Even as I write this short note, the emotions and tears flow through me as I think of the families in Minnesota and the families at our parish. It allows me to be with and to be for those who come with the hurts of life, both large and small, and listen knowing that I am not the solutions but God’s instrument to be used in love.
So, let us pray and may our prayer become our life and may our life become God’s presence in each and every moment of the day.
“’We should to keep our hearts open to the sufferings and wretchedness of other people, and pray continually that God may grant us that spirit of compassion which is truly the spirit of God.” (St. Vincent de Paul)

God bless
Fr. Mark.